For any (white) traveler in Kenya, these words are all too familiar. Msungu translates to "white person" in Kiswahili, but is generally accepted as a replacement for your name. But for me, a foreigner from a country where referring to someone by their race would get you shot, this word and all that comes with it offers a great example of the traveler's dilemma:
When you are a foreigner, there is a certain level of adaptation that constitutes being culturally sensitive. A certain amount of cultural differences that you just need to tolerate and learn to live with. But as these differences become increasingly uncomfortable and conflict with your cultural code to a greater degree... Where do you draw the line?
To those who haven't faced this dilemma, some examples are needed to explain what I mean by this.
As I walk to school, I have to walk through a primary school. As I was approaching today, I saw a sea of blue uniforms with all the tiny tots (probably in pre-school classes) out in the yard. "Uhoh... here goes," I think to myself. And as soon as they see me, I'm surrounded. I have a swarm of little ones chanting "Msungu!" and "Howareyouhowareyouhowareyou!" clinging to my arms and my clothes so I can't move. Children here are raised from the cradle with the charge to greet every Msungu with a hearty "How are you?" and so wherever you go, you need to tolerate the chanting, the greeting, the clinging. Benign enough, right?
But then we graduate to the next level of extra attention you receive as an obvious foreigner. This can be in any form--beggars increase their pleas for you, people walk the streets downtown trying to get you to sign up for a safari, come to their curio shop, or just rob you. I find myself having the same conversations over and over with random strangers of various levels of education--"I bet the US doesn't have traffic jams like this, huh?" "Oh you much love Obama, you know he's my brother?". This is frustrating to have people who know nothing about my country tell me how lucky I am to be from there because for reasons 1, 2, and 3 it is clearly infinitely better than Kenya. This is annoying as all get-out, especially considering that I am not in the US, I am in Kenya. If Kenya were such a bad place, would I bother to be here? But again, no one is hurt by these annoying conversations, nor by the assumption that you want a safari, nor by the child chants.
But then we get to the brand of Msungu attention that I think crosses the line--cat calling. In America, especially in the parts of America where I live, cat-calling is not appropriate. To me it is demeaning, objectifying, uncomfortable--it is sexual harassment, perhaps even considered sexual violence. And I think majority of American women would heartily agree with me. Right?
But here, its a common, accepted occurrence, and as I recently discovered it is not just something Msungu women deal with. I talked to the girls about it, asking is this normal? Is this ok? Do you feel insulted? Flattered? The consensus I got was that if you get attention, its because you have dressed in a way that attracted it. But yes, it does happen when it is uncalled for, and it can be insulting. Other times, they're hooting because you are "smart" (Kenyan for well-dressed), so then it is flattering. But then I know that I could be wearing layers upon layers and still get the calls. And I have never considered myself a racy dresser, but heck, if its hot I want to wear shorts, I want to wear a tank top, I want to wear a skirt... but I know that if I do, the attention increases. Should I change the way I dress to adapt to this discomfort? Or is this crossing the line between cultural sensitivity and changing who I am? Especially if that change won't change how I'm treated walking down the street. Because having tried different variations of dress... nothing has eliminated the harassment.
So, if this treatment really is going to happen regardless of my dress code, then how should I behave in a way that either shuts down the attention or makes it less hurtful to me? My host dad says that I need to just "make sure they know I don't take any joking" that even as a Nubian he could get harassed by different tribes, but the way he interacts with people keeps them from treating him that way. However, I feel like I already have tried this. My first two months in Kibera last year were rough, the harassment was making me wonder if my work here was worth the 15 minute walk every day.
So I adopted a harsh exterior, didn't respond even to the children's how are yous, didn't make eye contact with anyone, threw angry glances at anyone who said anything. But not only did the harassment continue with this attitude, I feel I lost a lot of opportunities at friendship, at feeling at home in the community. I heard of a previous KGSA volunteer who would just chat with everyone and really made a connection with the community. People would ask me "Where's Ashley? She was so free, not shy at all, I miss her!". This kicked me in the gut. I'm sure this Ashley character got the harassment too--how did she get over that and make so many friends. So this second time in Kibera, I decided I couldn't be the "rude Msungu" that walks by every now and then. I couldn't shut down possible friendships, not everyone who yells Msungu will then hit on me. And I love this attitude. I have friends all over Kibera, both women and men.
But just as I have shopkeepers that wave at me every time I walk by, I also have groups of men around Kibera who harass me every time I pass. One of these groups hangs out where I get off my matatu. The other day I alighted and immediately started walking quickly to avoid the inevitable hit-ons. But the man called me racist--"You don't want to greet me?" So he grabs me by the arm and drags me to greet each and every one of his friends. He wouldn't let go until I sharpened my tone and said "Hey!" too shocked to think of any Kiswahili. He put his hands up innocently and they all laughed at me as I walked away. I've had much worse than this occur to me, so I shook it off and never thought of it again.
A few days later, I was nonchalantly talking about things with my host dad and mentioned the incident. He immediately pulled a U-turn in the car, "They touched you?? We need to solve this right now." I was resisting, I didn't want to see those men again, but he drives right up to the corner where I said it occurred, rolled down the window and gave them a piece of his mind. The men there weren't the same ones, but the man there apologized on his friends' behalf and said he would talk to them about it. Abeyd even followed up the next morning, making sure he could address the whole group. Responding like that in the US might elicit some reaction, like a backlash, and they would harass me even more the next time I passed for having protested their behavior. But Abeyd was sure. "They wouldn't have done that to a Kenyan lady, they know they've done something wrong. They touched you."
So if the hooting, cat calling, and lude remarks are OK, how was I supposed to know that this incident crossed the line? In a foreign place, I don't know the cultural currency--what is OK and what is not--so people cross the line with me and I don't even know it. Every time anything like this happens, I blame myself for not carrying myself in such a way that avoided it or responding in a way that shut it down. But I've tried everything... what could I have done in that situation, honestly?
There is one thing I haven't tried. My host dad told me none of this would ever happen if I wore a hijab and tried to look like a Muslim. The girls agreed, when I asked them about this they agreed that for Muslims this isn't a problem. One of my Kenyan friends once mentioned that Kenyan Muslim women are so respectable, so upstanding--it would make sense that no one would mess with someone they respected or that they believed god protected. But shouldn't all women deserve respectful treatment? And what I can't really understand and what I culturally disagree with, is how could this treatment be considered normal and acceptable? Even by the women themselves? But is it worth lying about my religious and cultural identity to make life more livable in this place? Where do you draw the line?
With the guys at the street corner, I think you did all you could have done in the situation. That's exactly the case in entirely foreign places: it takes a very long time to truly accustom to the norms, and you can't do it automatically. Talking to your host dad or host mom is probably the best way, you'll slowly begin to judge situations for yourself but for now, you did the best you could in that situation and that was the right thing to do. I know it seems kind of uncomfortable since you're relying on others to understand a culture rather than learning directly for yourself what is right and what is wrong, but when it concerns your safety, then that's best. Learn from both others' and your own experiences.
ReplyDeleteFor dressing like a Muslim, I don't quite see that as a good way to go about things. Women need to demand respect not for their religion alone (especially not if they are not Muslim), but for who they are. If they are not Muslim, it's not fair to themselves or to true Muslims to mask themselves as being a person they are not. Muslim women have this respect because of their religion and that is perfectly fine; non-Muslim women also deserve respect but it should be for who -they- are, not by using the respect already endowed on another group of religious women.
I agree that the women themselves should stick up for their right to be respected, but I'm seeing it from an American point of view without experience in Kenyan culture. I don't know how possible it is for Kenyan women to stick up for themselves against men, either because they're flattered by the calls or, more importantly, that they don't feel safe if they do stand up for themselves. If I were in that situation, I would be afraid of incurring some sort of anger from the men when I stood up for myself rather than their backing off. I'm not sure.
I hope I made some sense. Great post! I miss you!!
I believe that you do not need to "understand" a culture, nor do you need to acclimate yourself to it. You need to draw boundaries around what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to you. Standing up for yourself is not working when you try to enforce your boundary. In fact, I believe, as Emily says, women enforcing their boundaries even increases their danger. One way women are subjugated in some cultures is through the use of abuse, both sexual and physical.
ReplyDeleteThe situation for you in Africa seems to be escalating and it is impossible for you to enforce your own boundaries......you need to enforce your boundaries by leaving this culture. People over hundreds of years have left their own countries when their countries do not match their sense of self, or if their country's rules have gone against their beliefs. Your leaving will not be unprecedented. You need to protect yourself.
On a more serious note than my facebook comment, I found this post to be very thought-provoking. In my experience, cat-calling and similar levels of harassment, although viewed as thoroughly inappropriate in the US, not as rare as I think you imply in your post. The motivation, of course, is to solicit attention, start a conversation (however coarse) and some level of relationship (probably physical). There are many ways for men to achieve these goals, and cat-calling probably ranks among the methods that require the least effort and are more likely to lead to a physical as opposed to an intellectual or emotional relationship. As far as I know, over the course of the development of American society, as women have become more educated and more integrated with the work force as opposed to submissive homemaker roles, cat-calling has decreased because women feel more entitled to smarter and less submissive relationships. It's awesome that you are in Kenya now trying to improve the education level of young women, because I think that is a critical catalyst for social change.
ReplyDeleteAs for the way you dress and act in a foreign place, I agree that it can be difficult to find a line where can be respectful to the culture and yet hold on to personal morals that you have developed. I think if I were in your situation I would dress to fit in, since no matter what you are going to be noticed as different. When you push too many changes on people, you can quickly become discredited and rejected, whereas if they can accept parts of you, they may slowly learn to accept other parts of you as well. Hold on to your personal morals and slowly let them come out. I think dressing like a Muslim is not productive for anyone though, since being something that you are not is not a good way to gain respect.
It's reassuring to hear that the culture where you are is at the level where any sort of touching of women is absolutely inappropriate and backed by action. Unfortunately you were exposed to that situation with the men, but I hope you are stronger now in those situations, and it is clear that those men who apologized know that it was wrong. Those men have goodness in them, so maybe over time it will come out.
Have a fun and safe time in Kenya, Anne!