Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Get the New Magazine!


Support the girls! Learn about Kibera! The quarterly Shedders magazine is the product of the KGSA Journalism club. Everything that goes into the magazine is the girls work: Girls choose, write, and edit the stories, Girls take the pictures, Girls get the profits of the magazine sales (for the club that is). Order one for yourself, your family, your grandma, your dog!

Go to this link to order your copy of the second ever issue of Shedders and support KGSA!

Things Are Happening Too Fast



So many things have been happening with my project that I haven’t been able to keep up with writing about it. I’ve been through ups and downs, with good news and bad news, with too much to do and too little. I’ve been both so excited about it that I don’t ever want to leave and so frustrated that I want to board the next plane out.

But as I look retrospectively at all these ups and downs, I realize they are the result of the tug of war between what I want to do to help KGSA and what is realistically achievable with my limited time, means, energy, and funding. With my remaining two months, I am attempting to address one small need, of one tiny school, in one community, of one country, in a whole world full of people with other needs. Even just looking at KGSA, my work dwindles in comparison to what needs to be done, and it’s easy to get disheartened.

But I’m trying to stay constructive, realistic, narrow and flexible. My central goal is to promote women in science by 1) improving the science education at KGSA and 2) assisting the Form 4 girls in science in transitioning to post-graduate scientific endeavors. So the solar project aligns with both goals in that it gives the girls an exciting, educational lab component to their physics curriculum and gives the girls job skills in an emerging scientific industry in Kenya. But I’m realizing that the solar project will by no means be sufficient in reaching those two goals, and those two goals are perhaps not the only things KGSA needs that I could work for with my time here.

Right now, the solar project is scheduled for next week. The materials are all on hold and I am currently in the process of transferring the money for the purchase. We have 15 girls picked out: eleven Form 3 and 4 physics students, and four eager Form 2 students that we hope will pursue physics after this project. I originally wished to have all the girls make panels, but I’ve decided to focus the solar project on a smaller more realistic group of girls who will get the most out of it: those already with some interest in physics who would be more inclined to work in a career that needs electronics skills. It also wouldn’t make sense to have girls with no class work in electronics building panels--they won't understand what they would be doing.

I also have made some important discoveries and connections that are helping me to redirect the solar project in a more effective and sustainable direction. My first discovery was rather disheartening, but vital to my project’s success. Byronnes Khianga, a previous teacher at the school and Electrical Engineering graduate, heard about my project and wanted to introduce me to a close friend of his who is in the “solar business”. It was a typical Kenyan meeting in that this solar friend was late to our appointment, so late in fact he never showed up. So Byronnes friend’s son showed us the solar products his father was selling. I expected this connection to lead to a new source of raw materials that could help us lower the cost of production of our lamps, but this man didn’t sell raw materials, he sold already manufactured versions of our product. He sold 4 different versions of our lamps: all slightly different in design and of different sizes, all in flashy plastic cases with impressively constructed external panels, all imported from factories in India, all significantly cheaper than we could ever possibly offer. So after the initial impulse to cry and wallow in self pity, Byronnes and I talked things over and decided on a redirection.

We still need to construct the solar panels with KCYP for educational purposes. We have ordered enough materials for each person involved in the project to make two panels. This will allow us to keep an established fleet of panels at the school for girls to check out and take home to study after dark when necessary. The remaining 20 or so panels we can market within Kibera or in the rural areas to people that can afford our price. As impressive as the imported panels are, this man has only casually sold them and has done little to no marketing. So at least our first fleet of panels for sale will have a market, maybe even a second fleet. From this experience, the girls will be educated in basic electronics, basic marketing and basic solar concepts—making perfect candidates to market our products or the imported Indian products. So our hope is that we can work with, rather than against, Byronnes’ friend. Since he has yet to market them in Kibera, what would be better than someone who is extensively familiar with both the product and the market where they will be sold?

Sande at KCYP was entirely un-intimidated by the new products and doesn’t want to abandon further construction. He is confident that the Indian products are of lower quality, comparing them to what are called “China phones”: flashy, attractive, yet poorly made phones imported from China that notoriously break down quickly. Kenyans love having an impressive phone and are teased into buying the gaudy, inexpensive China phones, but after a wave of broken down phones the phase passed and the phones have become infamous. Sande insisted that these Indian panels would be the same in the solar business. When they hit the market but break down, it will actually increase business for us because our product is high-quality and comes with locally available service. He wants to buy and take apart some of the Indian products to get ideas for how to improve our product. He also wants to investigate where these Indian companies get their raw materials. If they are indeed high quality goods, we should look into importing our raw materials from their facility in order to lower our cost of production.


One of my favorite pictures of Abdul

So all in all, the discovery of these products is good news disguised as bad news. From these products we can learn how to improve our own or we can focus on the construction project to an educational endeavor and market these imported products for greater profit and sustainability. And regardless of what direction we go, refining our product or shifting our focus to marketing, this new direction lowers the cost of the solar project so I can consider spending my grant on other ways I could encourage KGSA girls in science. This discovery has also opened my eyes to what scientific careers really consist of in Kenya. Careers in research and development or manufacturing of scientific products are rare in the Kenyan scientific context. Kenyans with degrees or careers in science are more typically involved in marketing of scientific products or electronic maintenance and installation. So the solar project still gives them valuable experience for such careers, but my idea of this project preparing them for jobs in scientific manufacturing industries is unrealistic.

As money and time allows, these are some ideas I have had to encourage KGSA girls in science:

1) Bring speakers and visitors to the school that would be empowering and knowledgeable about what it takes to get a job in science in Nairobi

2) Make connections at scientific industries or with electricians around Nairobi and pair students up with mentors to job shadow with

3) Have Sande train some of the graduating seniors in large scale solar panel installation and funding them to start a business installing panels around Nairobi

4) Put together fun projects and lesson plans for the after school Science Club to boost involvement with the younger students

5) Purchase materials for the physics lab so that the physics curriculum is more complete and to make physics a more tangible subject

6) Improve the consistency and quality of science teaching at KGSA by funding a training of the science teachers by U of Nairobi science professors and paying them a consistent salary so that they stay at KGSA for the long term

But I realize that boosting women in science is not all I can do with my time here. I’ve been meeting with other organizations and people working in Kenya and have been collecting ideas for how to improve KGSA.

My plans for KGSA more broadly are to:

1) Improve communications and organization at the school. There is so much going on at the school and only a few people (Abdul, Teka and Ryan in the US) know about all of it. As much as Kenyans are comfortable with a laissez faire way of organizing things, and as much as I don’t want to be the haughty msungu to trump into KGSA and do things in an “American” way, I believe that if things are better communicated and publicized, we could more effectively market the school for donations and we could more effectively delegate school responsibilities and funds to different programs. Of course I’m not the first person with this idea and this is much easier said than done. Abdul, Teka and Ryan have been trying to organize things better since the school began in 2006, but I believe this goal is so central to KGSA that I want to be a part of this effort while I’m here.

2) Get more computers for the school and hire someone to teach computer skills. I feel that computer skills are probably one of the biggest advantages to have in the Kenyan job market. Just yesterday I was hanging out in the school library helping one of the girls start an email account. She didn’t even know how to delete typed text with a backspace/delete button. Growing up with computers all around me, I can't even remember a time when I didn't know that. If our girls graduated with decent competence in computer skills, a huge number of jobs would be opened for them. I am interested in walking into the Nairobi Google office sometime this month and convincing them to invest in the school’s computer resources. Perhaps this will be just another depressing rejection by the Google Company for me, but I have faith that even if Google isn’t the company to do it, we can find money for computer classes for the girls someday.

3) Revamp the student groups and promote student leadership. The many extracurriculars at KGSA have a mixed record of success. In one hand we have the Journalism Club: an entirely student run “Junior Achievement Company” that publishes a quarterly magazine about Kibera and the school. The magazine is sold around Kibera and internationally online. But on the other hand, we have the Science Club, the Human Rights Club, the Scouting Club… all unfunded clubs that, as far as I know, do little more than exist at KGSA. Perhaps these clubs are just another part of KGSA I know little about and they actually are active and functional, but I doubt it. I feel that with a little attention and funding, these clubs could blossom into something as great as the Journalism Club. Also, when I wonder about how I can help the school, I often think to myself that maybe the girls themselves have the best idea. There is a complicated system of class prefects and student leadership that I barely understand, but I haven’t seen too much evidence of the girls being involved in the planning of how to improve KGSA. I feel that this student leadership would help Abdul and Teka who are always busy planning things for the school, but could also be valuable experience for the girls.

4) Individually interview the graduating class about their post-graduation plans and guide them through the transition process. Since the girls don’t graduate until December or January, I am here at the wrong time for this, but I could get a head start now or find a way to stay here until then. I am definitely able to help girls make CV’s and resumes and I could help connect them to people in their industry of interest. I can’t really guarantee that I would be able to get them all jobs or scholarships, but a go-to person or career counselor that could help them search and prepare for the transition couldn’t hurt.

Some of what I aspire to do is probably already being done by Abdul, Teka, Ryan, and the other msungus working at the school. And even in writing my analysis of what’s going on at the school, I feel like I, as a visitor to the school, am in no place to really judge how things are being done and how they should be done. But I think as I enter my 4th month on the ground at KGSA, my 8th month on the ground in Kenya, and my 3rd year in love with Kenya, its time to stop watching and start doing. I’ve learned enough about Kenya to help with an open mind and an open ear; I can help without being “that haughty msungu” stomping in to change things.

Getting a Feel for Life in Kibera

The walk from my home to the school weaves through backroads and neighborhoods that show me new flavors of life in Kibera. I walk past gaggles of unemployed men who day after day just sit idly, chewing mirra leaves, waiting for life to change. I walk past ladies selling vegetables or electronic parts, men pulling carts of water jugs or trash bags—doing anything that pays. I walk down the railroad and am struck by a spectacular view of Kibera, hills and hills of sheet metal stretching as far as the eye can see.

And I walk right past the heart of the post-election violence of December 2007. I see the open space where political rallies started then and are still commonly held now. I see the remnants of houses that have been burnt to the ground and covered in graffiti. Unsurprisingly, the previous inhabitants of the burnt houses were Kikuyus—the tribe of President Mwai Kibaki who many think unrightfully won the election. The violence dissipated when the Luo runner up, Raila Odinga, became Prime Minister. But as is the case with most African coalition governments, it appears as if “Prime Minister” is more of a title than a true governing position. But despite the current peace, those burnt homes are not rebuilt, those inhabitants have not felt safe enough to return, and displaced people still live in tents in the rural areas.

Coming August 4th, Kenya will vote again. This time it is a referendum vote on a new constitution written to help reduce corruption. I have considered vacationing to my old homestay in Kariakor for the vote just to make sure I’m out of the warzone, but I don’t expect history to repeat itself here. The referendum seems to have at least 70% of Kenyans in favor, with the division seemingly less tribal. And more importantly most politicians are in support of it. So with the “corruptors” on the majority side, I don’t see a huge incentive to rig the results. And without rigged results, I don’t expect such violence to return to Kibera.

And Kenyans are committed to keeping the peace after this election. “Katiba Mpya, Kenya Moja”, meaning “New Constitution, One Kenya”, is a popular slogan for the Yes campaign. Other non-partisan advertisements show pictures of the 2007 violence and say “whichever way you vote on August 4th… never again”. Then my favorite peace advertiser, a local artist called Solo 7, is all over Kibera once again. After the 2007 election, Solo 7 painted the words “Keep Peace” in hundreds of places around Kibera. But as I walk my old routes in Kibera and discover new ones, I realize that Solo 7 is back at it again. I find notes like “Vote Peacefully, Kenya” and “Chagua Katiba kwa Amani” (Vote for the constitution with Peace) around in his familiar handwriting and I’m warmed by his mysterious messages.



Speaking to my Kenyan friends I am sorry to find their commitment to peace coupled with political apathy about the vote. “Will you vote?” I ask them. “Maybe” or “If I find time” or “If the line isn’t long”. It hurts a little hearing these responses, but I guess I can’t blame them after a long history of rigged elections and one of the highest corruption perception indexes in the world. I was incredibly refreshed in talking to one of my new friends Richie. He is a recent Communications graduate and found a job working for the “Vote No” campaign. But after working for a while, he finally read the constitution through and decided that he could no longer work for the No team. He felt he was misleading people, he said, he felt that the new constitution empowered our women. It was like music to hear something like that out of a Kenyan man. It was also inspiring that he would turn down a paycheck for what he felt was right for his country. I would be surprised if with these attitudes, Kenyans would still turn to violence this August.

As for my living situation, things have certainly calmed down since the devil worshipping shindig. The next day they finished exams so I picked them up from school and we went for ice cream and got ingredients to make guacamole. Miriam went nuts, hugging me like we were best friends and hadn’t seen each other for years. She trotted me around her school making sure everyone in her class saw her msungu sister. We came home and ate our snack in front of the typical music videos and after that Miriam lost interest in me pretty quickly.

Little GD on the other hand has become my second shadow. I come home from school and he and the other neighborhood kids are playing soccer in the street and I love to join in, we live on a secluded enough nook that I don’t get too many looks. But then the moment I decide I’m done, he is too, getting yelled at for taking the ball with him. Then he’ll settle in on the couch next to me to watch TV and when I’m not looking scoot closer. His habits get a little more pesky and less adorable when we get into my personal space. He creeps outside my door to see what I’m doing in my room and doesn’t have the whole knocking thing down so well. And when the door is open he’s buzzing behind me reading what I’m doing on my computer.

Then his worst habit is that he’s an early bird and wants to spread the joy. At 7am on a Saturday, I startle from a dream and BAM he’s right there sitting on my bed, patiently waiting for me to get out of bed. I was surprisingly patient with him that time and when I eventually decide I can’t go back to sleep, I follow him down for breakfast. Then today, I’m struggling with some allergies or a cold, but I open my eyes at 7:30am and he’s sitting there again, this time at my desk silently messing around with my little alarm clock. This time it’s not so cute: I feel terrible, I wanted to sleep in today and so I tell him to leave. He does, but comes back in and I open my eyes to see him there again. So then I’m a little harsher and he leaves for good, but leaves the door open. With the noise from the TV and from people in the kitchen and other life going on in the house, I realize I just can’t sleep in.

Asia works a lot but things are getting a little less busy as her social work organization runs out of funding for the season and the school she works at closes after exams. My new home is a lot busier and noisier. Asia always has music playing (which is usually a good thing) and she loves to go out dancing. With Salomi only speaking Swahili and with the kids loving to speak to me in Swahili, I’m getting a lot better at it. The other day in the matatu, we were stopped at my stage and I was getting off with some other people. But before I had gotten out, the traffic cleared so the driver started driving and I yelled at them to stop there in Swahili, nothing fancy. Not only did they stop to let me out, but everyone in the matatu turned to look at me incredulously. As I got out the driver was saying “Ngai! Msungu anasema Swahili?” (Shoot! The white girl speaks Swahili?) I was pretty pleased with myself.

The living here is pretty much the same as Kariakor except for a little excitement we had the last couple of days. Someone stole or tampered with the transistor that supplies electricity to my block. Evidently some oil that is in the transistor is incredibly valuable, so people steal it and sometimes are burned or electrocuted in the process. Then instead of promptly coming to fix it, the Nairobi Electricity Company dragged their feet waiting for residents to bribe them to fix it faster. I was happy to see Asia giving them a piece of her mind instead of giving them a wad of cash. But despite her angry efforts, we were out of power for 3½, almost 4 days. Take from that what you will: money talks.

But overall, life here is good. Sometimes I still feel like there’s too much down time. I have been rather uninspired to write because things are happening so fast and my private time at home is harder to find. I feel like I have everything and nothing to do all at once. But by living here, even when I’m doing nothing but hanging out in Kibera, I’m learning things and meeting people that are helpful to my project.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Slum Survivors: The Documentary that put KGSA on the Map


IRIN - Slum Survivors
Uploaded by OneWorldTV. - News videos hot off the press.

Abdul started Kibera Girls Soccer Academy in 2006 when he realized the girls on his soccer team were without school fees, putting them at risk for early marriage, prostitution, and getting stuck in the poverty of Kibera. So with his own money, he started an informal free school. Luckily, these documentary makers found out what Abdul was doing and made this video. It starts off rather grimly telling the stories of women who struggle to feed children and battle AIDS and men who are tempted into crime or forced to work rather undesirable jobs to provide for their families. But then the video ends on a positive note, telling the story of Abdul and KGSA. (If you're interested, this is also available on YouTube in 5 parts and the fifth part gives the story of the school.)

Abdul now refers to this video as the beginning of our international attention. Since this documentary, international NGOs have made relationships with the school and generous donors have helped us build the facilities we work in today. Many students like me have come to work at the school, bringing grant money and ideas for how to give these girls a better future. Hopefully our international attention continues to grow to help us complete our facility, pay our teachers, improve the quality of the education we offer and give girls opportunities after graduation.

News Flash! Pop Industry Full of Devil Worshippers

So I’ve officially moved in with my new host family in Kibera. I remember Abdul excitedly telling me about how he’d found a young, wonderful family near Olympic (a part of Kibera) that would be willing to host me during my project. I remember being thankful but hesitant. I know people can make a decent living here in Kibera, and not all the structures here are shanties of mud and metal. But last time I was in Kenya, I wasn’t even comfortable enough to drink the water offered me here and every time I ate here I wondered if I would get sick and I was terrified every person I passed would rob me. I’ve come a long way, but am I ready to live here?


Well, Abdul was insistent and took me to visit the house of Abeyd and Asia on one of our first outings together. Asia wasn’t there for my first visit but sounded great. She is a young social worker who conducts civic education workshops around Nairobi. Abeyd was kind and business-like and seemingly quite well off. Driving his car to pick us, he pointed out the house of his other wife on the way. This was intriguing to me, but to others I’m sure a tad too different from the norm to be comfortable. Mariam, a twelve year old in Class 6, was home sick from school and politely served us soda while I visited. Her little brother, Abdulrahman (GD for short) is 8 years old in Class 3 but was not there for my visit. Upon meeting Asia another day, we instantly connected. She is energetic, charismatic and seemingly liberal and modern for being one of two wives.

And as for my concerns about living in Kibera, I decided to be abrupt with my questions. Running water? Reliable electricity? Non-squat toilets? My own room? Safety in the neighborhood? The ‘me’ of last time in Kenya would have been too shy or guilty to ask for these American niceties. But hey, I’m going to live here and I’m undeniably American, so the ‘me’ of today decided that it was better unashamedly ask for these luxuries rather than tough it out to be polite. I was even up-front about paying. Of course I can’t expect to stay for free, but Kenyans are too polite to pull out the business talk on first meeting, so I decided to be the abrupt one. But everything went fine and all their answers sounded good. So I decided to move. I was distraught to leave the comfort and love of my family, Monica and Chippa. But after all, I’m here for a project, so my location can’t hamper how much I can do at the school and Kariakor is too far.

So here I am, moving in midday on a Wednesday. The kids are at school; Abeyd and Asia at work; so I meet Solemi, the house help (maid) from Uganda. Most house helpers don’t know English so I’m ecstatic to become best friends and improve my Kiswahili. But simultaneously Solemi is ecstatic to meet me to improve her English. So as she ironed clothes I kept her company continually chatting in Kiswahili with her agitatedly trying to direct the conversation to English. So we bantered back and forth continually trying to change the language until eventually, we’d both be unable to express ourselves or understand the other on the current topic, at which point conversation would chug to an awkward halt. I’d pretend to be preoccupied looking out the window and she would intensely concentrate on ironing until one of us decided to try out a new topic. I can tell we’re going to be best friends.

Then I end up passing out for an unexpected nap while reading my book. I hear a doorbell in my sleep and later am shocked awake by Mariam poking her head into the room, eyes wide to see this crazy msungu addition to her family. So I go downstairs to spend time watching cartoons with the kids and am interested to see Where in the World is Carmen San Diego on the TV. I used to watch that!

I realize all too quickly that the silent, polite Mariam of last time was the Mariam-around-adults personality. Here at her mercy with only Solemi and little GD, I got a much more uncensored variety of Mariam. Our conversation went a little like this…

“What type of music do you just love, Anne?”

“Oh I don’t know, I like almost anything. Here in Kenya I like the Tanzanian music and those guys from Nigeria—“

“Well for me, I like crrrrunk.”

“Oh… what type of music is crunk, exactly?”

“Oh you know, like Kiss FM and this other channel, Hits 105”

“Um… you mean hip hop?”

“Not hip hop! Crunk is more like, you know, the rappers are so constantly rapping.” This is sounding like hip hop to me, but Mariam excitedly changes the channel to show me some music videos of this crunk she loves. She settles on the station playing some Brandy.

“This is crunk?”

Mariam says incredulously, “This is not crunk!! This is R&B, crunk is different. But for me, you know I want to be a musician.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, like my favorite artist, my most, most favorite artist is this Justin Beiber. You know he’s only 16? So amazing. I don’t know how he goes to school and sings so nicely and is so famous all at the same time,” Mariam waves her hands for emphasis.

“You know, I bet he doesn’t go to school.”

-gasp- “What? How terrible. For me, education is so important, I would never do that. He should go to school.”

Taking a chance to try to be a good influence I start, “Yea education really is imp—”

But I’m totally cut off by Mariam excitedly diving into a new topic, “You know, so many artists are devil worshippers,” she says with so much distaste she’s almost spitting, “like Beyonce, you know she is the worst devil worshipper...”

“Whaaa? Where did you hear th— ”

“And Rhianna and Jay-Z and… You know that song ‘Run this Town’? What they really mean is that they will rule the town with the devil,” again Mariam is getting physically affected by the intensity of what she’s talking about.

“Really, wow, well we really don’t think that back in the US, maybe that’s just one interpreta— ”

Never allowed to finish a thought she continues my music re-education. “Yes and all these artists confess they are in fact devil worshippers, and they all say it’s because of Jay-Z, you know he converted them.” Taking the hit to Jay-Z a little bit too personally I’m getting a bit agitated now, but she continues, “You know he gave this concert and everyone was bowing. They were saying he was Jehovah!” She looks agast.

Not knowing where she’s getting these facts, I decide to start taking a stand. “Where are you hearing this? I’ve never heard of anything else like this, I would know because I’m from Amer—” Yes, writing this now I guess I’m disgusted with myself for pulling the America card, and for a kid, nonetheless, but I’m starting to get really uncomfortable here.

“Well its all over Facebook!”

“You know you can’t believe everything on Facebook.”

“I know there are rumors! I’ve heard rumors about Obama being a devil worshipper too!—” she pauses for us to share in our shock, “yes, but I said, no, no, no, this can’t be true because if he were really a devil worshipper, Michelle would have left him, of course.”

“How do you know she’s not a devil worshipper too?”

“Well she’s not.”

Infallible logic. What was I thinking, of course she’s not.

She continues, “Well like Rhianna, she was a devil worshipper so Chris Brown beat her. I mean I would too” again she’s getting physically into what she’s saying, motioning out beating someone with an angry expression on her face.

So my jaw is dropped and now I just can’t take it anymore. I should be a cultural observer and not intervene, but this girl is justifying a man beating his girlfriend?! “I’m sorry Mariam, I don’t care what Rhianna was doing with the devil, there is no way he should beat her—” she tries to interrupt but I’m not having it, I’m raising my voice to a little kid now, repeating myself like a broken record, I feel like such a fool.

Now she’s agreeing with me, like kids who agree with people they’re trying to impress. Agreeing as if we had never disagreed, she continues on about Jay-Z.

“I like Jay-Z, he’s my favorite,” I interrupt, getting petty now.

She just changes pop icons, “And Lady Gaga” she hisses. “She sings this song about Alejandro—”

“Oh yea, my favorite song?” I pretend as if I don’t know where this is going. And she continues as if I hadn’t said anything. “That Lady Gaga, the things she wears, she is so naked. And she wears black and white, you know that means she’s a devil worshipper.”

Honestly not knowing this, I decide to dangerously bring me, an atheist with an intense distaste for any type of religious evangelism, into the picture. I mean, if she’s going to kick me out, or beat me as it seems she is fond of, I might as well get that over with sooner rather than later. “So I like black and white, does that make me a devil worshipper?”

“Oh no, no, no, you are good.” —phew, so she won’t be killing me in my sleep. As we continue to watch ‘crunk’ music on the TV, full of scantily clad ladies dancing and men touching women sexually, she doesn’t seem phased by this, and returns to her rant on Lady Gaga’s attire, “You know Lady Gaga isn’t the only one, ladies now days, they wear tights and a top and they go out! In public! Have they no shame?!” I think to myself of how tights and tops are in my suitcase right now and how I had intended to wear something like that out next Friday. I mentally cross that event off my calendar and forget about wearing my soffe shorts and camis for pajamas.

Then I learn that she will be sharing a room with me. After gritting my teeth holding in the explosion of emotions for a good few minutes, I patiently inquire about this. “I do believe your father said you’d be staying in the room with your mother, that I’d be staying in this room alone,” I say trying to be clear but polite.

“Oh no, you can never stay alone.”

“Actually I think I can.”

“Don’t you get scared?”

“Actually, I get scared when I am sleeping with someone else,” I blatantly lie.

“No, no, I’ll stay here.”

Again I patiently wait for the fury to dissipate before continuing, “I think, Mariam, you may be right, I may be wrong. But I think we all agreed I’d stay here alone. And its not that I don’t like you, we’ll still spend a lot of time together but you know…” I continue babbling excuses but she stays focused on the TV to try to hide her obvious disagreement.

I’m immediately regretting my relocation and wanting to hug Chippa and never let him go the next time I see him. Maybe we’ll sing to Lady Gaga and watch some Jerry Springer together, rejoicing in our non-judgmental sibling relationship, celebrating our similarities.

Throughout my dialogue with this feisty sixth grader, I learn about the entire family’s love for Michael Jackson. Even Solemi and GD are dancing along to ‘Bad’ while Mariam describes that she would murder, yes murder, anyone who called him a devil worshiper. I’m getting confused about the criteria for a devil worshipper as MJ grabs his junk and does intense pelvic thrusts that Mariam classifies as “amazing dancing”. Then Keri Hilson comes on afterwards literally wearing nothing but a U-shaped cloth that barely covers her and Mariam talks about how Michael Jackson must have taught her how to dance because they’re both so good. During this confusing and assaulting conversation I managed to defiantly throw in some daring contradictory philosophies, “I think people should be allowed to believe what they wish” and “Maybe not everything on the internet is true” and “Perhaps we shouldn’t murder people”… but she just keeps going.


Hours later, the firing squad of one is finished with this conversation. I escape up to what I thought was my room and pull out my computer to write down as much of this ridiculousness as possible so that I don’t forget it. Ten minutes later, in pops Mariam. I pretend I’m playing solitaire. Mariam says she’s bad at the game, but is instructing me, pointing viscously at my screen and I wince every time. Pretty soon I decide my computer will be less harmed if I just let her at the controls. I relax as she’s preoccupied, and cute, little, quiet GD is adorably watching over her shoulder and humming Michael Jackson.

Then its dinner time. Asia and Abeyd are both hard workers and get home late, so I get ready to take dinner with the kids. Solemi brings out a tray with three covered plates on it, one bigger than the other two. I think to myself, how cute one for me and two little ones for the two little kids. Nope, they’re all for me, the kids will eat later.

After dinner I’m saved by Abeyd. Asia won’t be home for a while so she suggested I go with Abeyd to the grocery store. I’m confused by the invitation a bit seeing as it’s after dark and unsafe outside, but I’m just ecstatic to escape Mariam’s clutches. He says he’ll point out the places that are safe or unsafe along the way so that I’ll know where not to be after certain hours. Here is where the gangs hang out, there is where they are known to be able to afford guns, here is a houserobbery section… shoot, where was the safe part again? This tour is just really uncomfortable. Then we turn a direction that I know is not to Nakumatt Prestige, the grocery store. Then we get out of the car and start walking down an alley, “We’re visiting Asia’s cousin, we do this charity work and I need to look at some documents.”

Charity work, my ass, you’re walking me down an alley on an unexpected stop in an area you said was notorious for gangs and I don’t even know you and all these students have been raped by host brothers and fathers before and I’ve heard the stories and my heart is thumping and I should have brought a key or something sharp and why am I still following him again?? But then we see this lady and her kid outside the house and they welcome us in so I’m feeling better. The whole family is inside and after I stop hyperventilating, I realize he really is here to discuss some documents about their charity work. Also surprising, this family is the first Kenyan family I’ve ever seen to have a pet cat. And they keep it indoors. So I preoccupy myself trying to befriend the cat without getting rabies while the members of the family look at me like I'm crazy and eventually we leave.

Poor Abeyd, shopping with him was like taking a ride on the struggle bus. He’s shopping for two households, keeping the items separate in the cart. He’s constantly getting a little disoriented as to which isle he’s going to and continually consulting little lists he’d received through SMS on his phone. He needs a certain type of tea leaf for Asia because she’s allergic, Adija likes her bread slightly burnt, Asia prefers this brand brand of soap, Adija needs milk, GD likes peanuts, Adijas son likes potato crisps… I mean… jeez he’s got a lot to keep track of. Eventually we make it out and arrive home.

There is Asia exhausted on the couch from a long days work. She is absolutely beautiful, as a side note, not wearing her shawl/veil, and the kids seem to have gone to bed. I’ve never been so happy to see someone as I am now. We all sit together and sip tea and discuss Sudanese politics and watch the news and talk about New Mexico and joke. I am loving every moment of my company and conversation, wishing they hadn’t had kids. I happen to delicately address my assault earlier on.

I mention the devil worshipping—“Jeez sometimes, you just can’t raise kids. They get this crazy stuff from other kids at school,” Abeyd assures me.

I question the sleeping arrangement and they laugh—“No that is not what we’re doing, maybe wishful thinking on her part but no, she’ll be sleeping with me,” says Asia.

I sigh in relief and we head up to bed. Kids are crazy. I bet Mariam thought she would impress me with her strict conviction, her moral fervor. But wow, was she overdid that one. I’ll stick this out for now; I think she’ll cool down when I’m not so new and exciting. I have my doubts, but one thing is for sure. In the future, that time between the end of school and dinner time will be spent out of the house.

Why I Care About Kenya

I think I officially arrived in Kenya today. I’ve been here for weeks; I’ve been waking up and doing my thing every day, but I didn’t really realize where I was until today.

When you’re meeting a new friend here in Kenya, they often ask you “How do you find Kenya?” or “What do you like about Kenya?” and those are both awkward and confusing questions to answer. If it weren’t already hard enough to justify why you like a place, now you have a different predicament. Probably every other Kenyan that asks you this question will also say something like, “Someday I’ll make it to your country” as if they’re saying “Someday I’ll make it to heaven”. So since usually you leave the less developed place for a more developed place, and they seem to equate your home with a glowing land of opportunity, it’s hard to say “I like the fish” or “I like the matatus” and have that be a sufficient answer to their question.

Thinking about that awkward question, I realize, I come here for the learning. I want to understand how things came to be the way they are here. I want to learn what makes these people tick. I want to know how things are changing, for the better and for the worse. What parts are the sob stories we see on TV and in the documentaries, and what parts are just life. I know people have skewed ideas about Africa at home. I know I had everything wrong before I came. And even after something like 7 months here and tons of books and classes, I am still only scratching the surface in my understanding of this place.

I have had trouble writing this week because I’ve been settling into this groove, and realizing how much I love Kenya, and how much I still want to learn. Then I sit down to write home and I realize I’m in no place to explain to you “how things are here”. There is still too much I don’t know about what it is to be Kenyan. So I realize that I have exhausted all the topics that are easy for me to write about, the topics I feel I understand somewhat completely. But I have nowhere near exhausted the topics I am curious about, the ones I do not completely understand.

Everyday, I wake up and have a series of unexpected experiences that are sometimes exciting, sometimes eye-opening, sometimes ridiculously frustrating but all either help me understand old curiosities or introduce new ones. Everyday I mingle with strangers and get to know friends, and through these interactions I begin to understand what it is to be Kenyan. And then somewhere in all of this, I’m doing a project and teaching girls about math and solar panels too. But the things that I can’t stop thinking about, the things I need to explain and put down in writing are what I learn from these unavoidable, unexpected interactions. I want to share what I’m thinking, what I’m learning, and what I want to continue learning. I can not write about Kenya like I know it all. But what I can write is more of a dialogue, a work in progress, a musing.

So why am I having this dialogue? Why do I care to understand Kenya? Well in the short term, this understanding is essential to ensure the work I’m doing here is actually helpful. So many NGOs see the surface of the African situation, and then march in to “develop it” and “make it better”. But is making their life more like ours really that much better? So I need an understanding of the context of my work to make sure the “help” I’m bringing is actually desired. I need to understand the Kenyan mindset in order to be in touch with how my work is affecting the girls’ lives in their eyes, not mine.

Another reason for my dialogue is more selfish. Confronting myself with difference and coming to understand it helps me learn about myself and live a more dynamic and self-aware life. I chose to study abroad in Kenya in part because of “Africa-time”. Because my perfectionistic, overachieverish life surrounded by to-do lists, spreadsheets, and an obsessive Google-calendar was starting to eat away at me. By distancing myself from the fast-paced American-ness I was able to discover that there is more to time than productivity. The closer I got to Kenya, the more I realized the value of patience, the value of family, the value of a day without anything planned, the value of spontaneous, unexpected, sometimes unwanted events added to your day. But of course, when I talked about this during my Google interview, it didn’t get me the job… even though I mentioned my Google calendar.

But there has to be something besides my project and something besides my personal benefit that comes from this understanding. Let’s say I stay here for a year more, and keep absorbing my surroundings until I have a near-complete idea of the life of a Kenyan… so what? What’s the point? What do I do with that information? I write a little blog and who knows, maybe not even express myself well enough for people really to share in my understanding. Or even if you do, then what do you do with this?

And that right there is something I don’t have an answer for, but instead just a musing. I guess you could happily live your life with blinders on and never wonder or worry about people that live their lives in a different way. But to me, living your life without a sense for the outside world is ignorant, and becoming increasingly impossible in our international world. I have a belief that we need international dialogue and understanding to take down the walls between different types of people. After understanding comes empathy, after empathy comes care, and care brings peace. So that’s what I’m doing here, a “project for peace”, right? I’m not going to pretend that my being here in Kenya is stopping wars or violence, but I’m going to hope that creating that tiny little connection between here and there, that tiny little space of mutual understanding and benefit, is a tiny little step in building the foundation for peace and global understanding.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Weekend of Soccer

So on Saturday, the girls had a soccer match. After all it is the Kibera Girls Soccer Academy, and I was excited to see the girls play. The girls were in the quarter finals of some on-going tournament of all the Nairobi schools. KGSA is the only private school in the tournament, and doing really well. We killed the other team four-nil. Some of the girls on the other team were clearly frustrated, two getting yellow cards for deliberate fouls and unsportsmanlike conduct. But despite their bad sportsmanship, I felt pretty bad for the other team. They just looked out of control and helpless, and our girls clearly had some technical skill. I’m not surprised knowing how seriously our coaching staff takes the game, the school and the girls. Head coach Moha showed up in a bright white suit and tie, spot-able from anywhere on the fields.

They traveled all the way from Kibera to some fields just down the street from my home in Kariakor. The fields were part of Starehe Boys’ School, one of the best public schools for boys in Nairobi. It was so silly and cute to see all these boys in their flashy suits with Starehe emblems watching girls play futbol and even flirting with them awkwardly after the game. It was a subtle reminder that these girls are in high school. Seeing them only in class and with all the differences between their education and mine, I forget they are going through some of the same cute innocent high school drama and excitement that I did.

KGSA even made a point to bring all of Class 1 and 2 (freshman and sophomores) to cheer on the team, on a Saturday when girls could have been doing other things. Principal Teca was telling me as he was distributing snacks and watching the girls socialize with students from other schools, “They don’t get out much like this, outings like these are really special.” True, that. School here is more than a full time job and relaxing doesn’t seem to be part of the job description. While technically school is only M-F 8am-4pm, and technically school closes for holidays from time to time, you’ll find these girls here at 6:30am, on Saturdays, even Sundays and often during holidays. And I’m not talking about just a few crazy over-achievers, I’m talking about all of them. These girls practically live in their uniforms. I was happy to just relax with them on the sideline and see some of the girls I used to teach math to rip up the soccer field. They were incredibly impressive.

But of course, some other teams played soccer this weekend and that damn octopus got it right again. I was rooting for the Netherlands but not too disappointed when Spain won. I thought about getting out and going to a club to watch the craziness of Nairobi sports fans, but decided against it. I was in a club for half of the Argentina/Germany game and it was loud but a little less than exciting. Maybe I just chose the wrong bar… During Ghana’s last game, an altercation broke out in a Nairobi club. After “taking it outside” one of the two men taunted the other, no kidding, chasing him around blowing a vuvuzela (the South African noisemakers they have at the game) in his face. Then the taunted one stabbed the vuvuzela man, who died on the way to the hospital. The other man was then followed to his home and lynched by other men from the bar. Morbidly disgusting, huh?

So I wasn’t too disappointed to stay at home and watch it with the biggest world cup fan I know, my dearest host mom, Monica. She has watched at least a half of every game and keeps track of the score results and some statistics on this little bracket sheet she has. I made some guacamole and bought Pringles (the closest thing I could find to tortilla chips) to make an event out of it. Chippa slept through the whole game claiming he knew Spain would win, and Mom at least pretended to like the guacamole and was a great game-watching partner. So I wouldn’t have imagined it any other way.